"In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps."

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Treasure of Darkness

“And I will give you the treasures of darkness

Riches stored in secret places…

So that you may know that I am the Lord

The God of Israel

Who calls you by your name.”

Isaiah 45:3

Meet Heath.

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This is not a post asking you to donate money.  I don’t want you to donate one red cent today.  I just want to share with you what’s on my heart and share with you about one special little boy.

I have been praying and donating what I could to Heath for a year now, but I have never shared him with you.  There have been times when I have tried, but the words to adequately express how I feel about him have never really come, and I am praying with all my might right now that they will.

Heath is 11 years old, and he lives in a Level 4 mental institute in Eastern Europe. He is there because he has down syndrome, certainly not because he is mentally insane, which I used to think was the prerequisite for entrance to those kinds of places.

My friend Julia, adopted her son Aaron from the same institute.  Sweet Aaron is a cognitively normal little boy with Arthrogryposis, a disorder that affects his joints, who was sent there when he was only four or five.  I first starting following Julia’s blog when I read this post last October about life in Aaron and Heath’s mental institution.

Please go HERE and read it. If you have a heart, it will surely break.

On Heath’s best days, when its sunny outside, he gets to go outside and sit in the dirt and maybe play with a string. Those are his best days.

On days when its rainy or snowy or overcast, which is frequent on this side of the world, he sits inside all day.  He sits in one room with 20 or so other little boys, ages 5 to 18. Whatever condition the boys were in when they arrived at the institution, the years of no stimulation, or toys, or love, or therapy have taken their toll.  He sits in a smelly room with high windows that he cannot see out of and watches and listens to the others as they self soothe themselves through rocking or moaning or self mutilation.

This has been Heath’s reality for years now.  And it has left its mark.

So often I am drawn to children on Reece’s Rainbow that I see so much potential in.  Potential to do more, to be more!  To learn to read, to write, to draw, to maybe work at a job someday and sometimes, sometimes I  just see the ability to run and play. I dream about their after picture!  But…  I don’t see that in Heath.

But don’t mistake me.  I do see something in him.

I see GREAT LOVE. 

I see that the Father loves him.  The Father loves him so much, and Heath’s story isn’t over yet.  It can’t be over yet.  He will not be forsaken.

  • Why of all the other little Lost Boys at his institute is he one of the few ever to be listed for adoption?
  • Why do so many people see him and fall in love with him?
  • Why after only 2 years of being listed on Reece’s Rainbow is Heath now fully funded?

That’s right, friends.  Heath is fully funded, the only thing he needs now is a family.

I have been praying for Heath’s family.  In my mind, I see them.  It is a family with the ability to love a child with no thought for personal gratification.  A family that has the ability the love a child just the way they are. To patiently nurture them and give to them without ever worrying or caring if the child will ever give them love or anything at all in return.

Yes, there are people and families like that. Families who love so extravagantly that only the Father’s love rivals it!

But again, don’t mistake me. I don’t think Heath is one of those children.  The ones who cannot love back.  Even if I cannot look at Heath and know if he will be ever be able to walk or run or play or read or write… when I look at him, I see a different kind of potential.  The potential for GREAT LOVE. I know he will teach whoever is lucky enough to be his mother and father about PERFECT LOVE. That is, agape love. The Father’s love, and how deep it is.

Heath is a treasure hidden away in darkness, just waiting to be discovered!

Today I am not asking for money because Heath doesn’t need it.  Today, I am asking for two things -

  1. The first is that would you please share about Heath?  Share that he is fully funded, and now all he needs is a family!  And ask yourself, could you be that family?
  2. And secondly, I beg you to pray.  Prayer matters and God listens.  Pray that his family would come for him, and soon.  Pray that he doesn’t need to spend one day longer in that miserable institute than he needs to!  I so want to see him out.

Heath is not forsaken, and he will be set free.  Please help us and become a part of his story.

Saturday, September 22, 2012

My Sunny Side Up Life

Ok guys, get ready for what might be the most self involved post ever.  In my defense, this is a blog.  And also, this is my blog about me, and my loved ones. So it probably frequently does come across as a little self involved.

I was chatting with a dear friend in Louisiana the other day, and she complimented me on my blog – how it was so upbeat and positive, and I managed to make my life seem so cool (or something). I was slightly aghast!  The truth is, I have been having a very hard time, and I was dying to share my struggles with someone who loved me.  Her.  And she listened so sweetly, and encouraged me so well!

But afterwards, I went back and I read some of my blog posts, and I realized that she was right – I make my life sound very rosy on this blog.

Part of that is just my personality.  Yesterday I had someone ask me about my pregnancy and how it was going, and in the moment, all that I felt was such thanksgiving.  I gushed that my energy was coming back and I had had so little nausea and I was feeling so good. And I meant it! I promise.  I literally completely forgot about the fact that my heartburn has been miserable (and sure to get worse), my pregnancy induced carpal tunnel was starting to flare up again, and oh my gosh, I haven’t gotten any sleep because of my crazy HOT FEET and getting up every hour to use the restroom (that is not hyperbole, I get up. A LOT. Sometimes every single hour)! I don’t know how that slipped my mind, but it did.  And the truth is, I just don’t dwell on those things.  The truth is, I am just so grateful for the little nausea and more energy that I don’t have time to really dwell on the harder parts of my pregnancy.

I’ve said this about my blog before, but one of the reasons why I love it, is because it makes a great filter.  I sit down to write and complain, and then I read it, and all I can think is – that doesn’t look so bad!  Hey, what about this great thing that happened?  What about this unexpected help that you received?  For example, if you read this post, you would have no idea that it was one of the most difficult and stressful days of my life trying to sort out the flights and getting ping ponged between FOUR DIFFERENT COUNTERS with a hungry, tired, jetlagged baby and all my luggage plus stroller, but by the time I sat down to vent about it on the blog, all I could think was how lucky I was that I wasn’t stranded overnight in the airport with my 16 month old!  Nope, instead after all the flight sorting drama, I had a company paid taxi come and pick me up, take me to a free (with points) 4 or 5 star hotel for the night, and I just made it home 20 hours later or so than I had originally planned.  And all the bad stuff just sort of melted away and all I could think about were my blessings.

Have you ever known someone who complained about everything or complained about everything on their blog, and you just want to be like “Gaw girl, count your blessings!" I don’t want to be that person.

But there are some really hard things about living overseas.  There’s culture clashes, days where I’m tried of trying and often to failing to communicate well and all I want to do is stay holed up in my apartment and not have to deal with the world.  Days where my driver calls me 20 times (ok that one is hyperbole, but it can be as many as 3 times per day) and asks when I will need the car.  Being a Christian, all I can say is “I don’t know.” But what I really want to say is “WHEN I KNOW, I WILL CALL YOU!  WHY DO YOU EVEN BOTHER CALLING?  EVERYTIME YOU CALL, MY ANSWER IS, I DON’T KNOW.  WHEN I KNOW, I CALL. WHEN I CALL YOU, I HAVE A TIME. AND DON’T KEEP GRILLING ME WHEN I SAY I DON’T KNOW.  DON’T KEEP ASKING, MORNING? AFTERNOON? EVENING?”

Arg. See, that’s the kind of ugliness you don’t want to read about. But honestly sometimes having a driver is not so glamorous and is kind of a frustrating hassle. Some days when I am feeling suffocated or overwhelmed, I would give anything to be able to spontaneously hop into my car by myself and go for a little drive to clear my head. Or days where I would love to be able to walk outside with my toddler and not have every single babushka in Russia criticize the way I dress her!  Seriously, it doesn’t even stop in the summer time.  Apparently, in the summer, it is mandatory for Russian children to wear hats and open toed shoes… but heaven forbid any actual toe flesh be seen, nope, they want you to wear open toed shoes (NOT tennis shoes for sure)… with socks!

And then there’s the loneliness.  That’s the hardest part, and probably the most difficult to explain.  I had a new friend write me yesterday and she said “It must be exciting and lonely sometimes?” And I admit that I immediately began to cry.  She’s the first person who hasn’t said anything about our cool trips or our great apartment or our drivers or our housekeeper, just… it must be lonely sometimes.  And it is.  Sometimes it is cripplingly lonely.

There are times where my calendar is full, and I see a lot of friends, and I Facetime family and friends in the evening or morning.  But then there are times where everyone is busy with work or their own kids and school or away and my internet is out or I can’t get in touch with people in the states because of the time change plus their busy lives, and all I can think is how I have totally failed at making friends here, and I am losing my friends in the states. And I start doing what I swore I wouldn’t do… which is live for my next vacation.  I don’t even remember feeling lonely in the states.  And certainly not this often.

Relationships are like a treadmill, if you stop working at them and moving forward, you start moving backwards… until eventually you fall off, fall out of touch, whatever.  My friend Elysha said the sweetest thing to me, that I was the only person she knew who could handle a place like this because I was constantly “pursuing my friendships”, which is what is needed here, and not to be lazy like her (her words, not mine, they made me smile)!  I know people who are much better than me at maintaining and engaging friends so I have always thought that I was kind of bad at it, so her words were very encouraging.  But still, its hard when you have months like we did in August where I was so exhausted with jetlag and pregnancy and we were so sick and keeping with the treadmill analogy, after a month of stopping, once you start moving forward again you have to run twice as fast as you did before with some friendships.  Some friends understand that that’s life and are so happy to hear from you when you resurface (again, Bless you Elysha and Emily), and others are not so understanding.

Anyway, I promise that I didn’t write this post to vent (except maybe about my driver); its just to let you know.  Life isn’t always rosy.  There are some incredible blessings that come with living here that almost always make it on the blog, but only about 1/5 of my year is spent away.  The rest of it is here in Russia, where I struggle often, I lose my temper with husband, let Isla watch way too much TV, and I am frequently so miserably lonely that I hide in my apartment and I don’t know if I can cope with world. But you probably won’t hear about those days.  And its not because I am trying to be fake, its because I cannot help but be profoundly grateful for all of the blessings in my life, and the blessings that I have from living here. And that’s where my focus is.

And just to be super corny, here is part of a song that I always sing and listen to on my hardest days here…

You Are Good by Point of Grace

When it's dark and it's cold and I can't feel my soul
You are still good
When the world is gone gray and the rain's here to stay
You are still good

With every breath I take in
I'll tell You I am grateful again
And the storm may swell even then it is well
And You are good

So how can I thank You, what can I bring?
What can a poor man lay at the feet of a King?
I'll sing You this love song, it's all that I have
To tell You I'm grateful for holding my life in Your hands

Thursday, September 20, 2012

Kadikoy and Staying on the Asian Side of Istanbul

Our first day in Turkey we slept in until about 11 AM or so!  For some reason, all of the flights to and from Turkey from Russia leave in the middle of the night – like after midnight (ugh).  So by the time we arrived at our hotel room, it was after 2, so we decided to just take it easy the next morning.

When we went to Istanbul, we decided to stay on the Asian side of Istanbul mostly because of the Marriott even though most people stay on the European side, plus it was also cheaper… of course.  It really turned out to be such a happy accident, and I am SO glad that we did.

For starters, we got to take the ferry boat over to the European side every day, which was a lot of fun, and we worked harder to figure out the public transport system. We did take a taxi from our hotel to Kadikoy to get on the ferry boat and see that part of town because the bus would have taken 45 minutes or so, but I think it was worth it.   I was really impressed by public transport in Turkey in general.

Isla loved taking the ferry boat, and we had a great time too! It was neat to interact with the locals everyday.

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Now back to Kadikoy, our first day, we knew we would be meeting friends for dinner on the Asian side and we would be sleeping in, so we decided to just spend that day walking around the area and not try to make it to the European side.  Many Turks live in Kadikoy and commute over to the European side for their jobs.  Its developing a reputation as a “hip” place for the young professionals to live. 

We took a taxi from our hotel to Kadikoy and the driver just dropped us off in the middle of a very busy intersection by a giant bull statue!!!

Isla loved the bull.  I did not love the traffic, and I kind of wished that he had dropped us off in a more remote area.

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We wanted to figure out where the ferry boats left for our following days in Istanbul so we quickly moved towards the water.  After we figured that out, we made for the promenade by the bay, and let Isla climb all over the rocks.

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She liked watching the ships too!

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We worked her out a little bit at a seaside “gym” (what a great idea!)… we’ve noticed she’s getting a little hefty in the middle Winking smile.

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We also came across a great playground for Isla and Nick!

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Awww… so sweet!

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After a while, it stopped being all fun and games, and Isla started getting violent…

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She’s a delinquent in the making! We gotta watch that girl…

After the promenade, we went and walked around in the shops and cafes of the area. Check out that amazing produce! 

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Much of the produce sold in Russia comes from Turkey, and since the Krasnodar region where we live happens to be one of the most fertile in Russia, we also have a lot of great produce. This has made Russians in my region a little bit snobbish towards Turkish produce and I have had a many friend at the market tell me not to buy this or that because (wrinkles nose in disgust)… its from Turkey! I however, do not have this prejudice, and am thankful for anything fresh, delicious produce that comes my way!

Nick and I were getting hungry, and BONUS, Isla had fallen asleep, so we decided to stop somewhere and eat.  I hope I make it clear how much I love Isla on the blog because I don’t want to come across as unloving when I say this BUT… I love, love, love it when she falls asleep at restaurants when we are on vacation, it makes for such a pleasant meal with Nick Smile.

This is the only picture I took when we were at the sidewalk café.  The owner enjoyed chatting with us in his limited English, and was so sweet.  He even continued to be sweet when he found out we were from Texas, the home of George W Bush! (We get that a lot on vacation…).

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Here’s a picture I took as we were leaving!  All in all, a great day and I am so glad that we stayed on the Asian side, and were able to have a feel for the “real” Turkey!

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Friday, September 14, 2012

A Greatest Day in Ephesus

Ok, so I am completely going to blog about Turkey OOO (that is, out-of-order) because I am dying to jump ahead to our day in Ephesus.  I think that I speak for Nick when I say that this probably ranks as one of our top 10 days that we have spent in our marriage.

Originally we had booked 5 days in Istanbul.  I had always wanted to visit Ephesus. In the bible Paul served as missionary to Ephesus and preached the gospel there for over three years, and the book of Ephesians is a letter written to the Christians living in Ephesus. It is also one of the seven churches listed in Revelations. For some reason, I had assumed we would catch Ephesus on another trip because it would take about 2 or 3 days. 

Upon meeting with our new friends, we learned that Ephesus was at most a day and half trip and could easily be done in one day.  We also learned a seasoned traveler could see the old city in Istanbul in two days, and we had four days left to on our trip, so we definitely had time to do both.  Our friends also recommended that we book the tour of Ephesus through our hotel.

So when we returned to our hotel, we checked into booking a day trip to Ephesus and we learned that it was going to set us back a whopping $1000+ FOR ONE DAY!  Needless to say, we couldn’t justify it.  So the next day, Saturday as we were walking around the old town, we stopped at every single tourism company we could find to price how much a day trip to Ephesus would cost, and the best quote that we could find was about $800.  We were a little dejected and frustrated and considered paying the $800 since if we had to return just to see Ephesus, we would have to pay a lot more than that since we would be starting from scratch.

However, Nick had a light bulb moment and suggested that we just book airplane tickets to the town near Ephesus and go on our own!  This idea totally freaked me out for several reasons, not the least of which because we have had so many bad experiences on our travels to date, and I had also been a little bit afraid that God would curse this vacation because unlike our other vacations, which are generally covered in part or in full by Nick’s company, this was a purely selfish vacation that we were paying for out of our own pockets and going on just because I had always wanted to go! (I know God doesn’t work like that… but sometimes I am stupid). This might have been our first ever vacation like that.

Anyway, I agreed to just hop on the plane without a plan, mostly in part because I love it when we can find bargains and I really, really wanted to see Ephesus, but I was nervous. We went into a travel agent there on the street in the Old City and booked tickets to Izmir for the next morning ($250).

So the next morning we got up and took a taxi (~$40) to the national airport on the Asian side, and hopped on the early flight to Izmir.  Our original plan had been to hire to a taxi to take us to Selcuk, which is the nearest town to Ephesus, about 55 km from the airport, but we got there and found that they cost either $100 one way or maybe even 100 euro, I’m not sure.  Either way, more than we bargain hunters wanted to spend.  I had done like a 5 minute search on getting to Selcuk from Izmir and hadn’t found anything about a train, so I didn’t think we would be able to get one.  However, upon walking out of the airport, we saw that there was a train station directly outside the airport! SCORE.

We walked over to it, and found that there was a train leaving for Selcuk in less than 40 minutes!  And BONUS, it was only going to cost us less than $10!!!! 

Italian Trains need to take note! (And maybe even British Trains… and most definitely Russian Trains) You could learn a thing or two from the Turks.  First of all, the conductor was so polite and said to us, “I will watch out for you because I don’t want you to miss your train.” WHAT?!? We have had in general bad train experiences since we started traveling parts of Europe and this one was by far the most pleasant that we have had.  Once I swore I was ruined for trains forever, but now that I have finally had a good experience on one, I may be more open to them in the future!

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Anyway, we arrived in Selcuk, which is about 4 km away from Ephesus, and we planned to just walk.  It was a nice little town and we stopped at a little café and ate something cheap and delicious and continued on our way.  We were in high spirits that we had managed to successfully get this far without a plan and at the last minute and no drama!

The road to Ephesus from the town is really nice, and with the trees and the path and Isla slung in the backpack, we felt like we were on a pilgrimage Smile.

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As we got closer to Ephesus, we had to turn off the main road, and there were horse and buggy rides offered.  We decided to splurge and take one ($25) because it meant that we would also have time to see the Cave of the Seven Sleepers, where the legend goes 7 Christians went to hide from persecution.  They fell asleep and when they woke up it was 100 or more years later and they returned to the town to find that everyone was Christian.  I admit that that’s a whopper of a tale, and while I believe in modern day miracles and unexplainable events… that one is a little far fetched even for me!

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This was something I would like to visit another time! We saw this on our way to the Cave.

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Here we are at the Cave of the 7 Sleepers!  I am glad that we went, just to say that we went.

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After that, the horse and buggy dropped us off at Ephesus… also, that was right when our good camera died, which meant all Ephesus photos had to be on Nick’s iPhone Sad smile.

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We finally let Miss Isla out of the back pack so she could explore the ruins with us!  I had bought a guide book so I sort of narrated our tour… much cheaper than paying for an English speaking guide Smile (plus we all know how much I love to be a know-it-all!).

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Sometimes I can’t decide which one I like more so I just publish both!

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Walking down the main street Ephesus!

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I think we found our Christmas Card photo!

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Here we are in front of the Library of Celcsus.

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And something for my structural engineer!  It went into all of the detail about how the buildings façade was designed to make the library look much bigger than it actually was… quite fascinating. No seriously, Nick and I took an art and architectural history class in college together, and we really enjoy things like this…

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And finally, what we came to see! Smile The spot where Paul preached to thousands of Greek pagans.  It was so cool and humbling… we are sooooo blessed to be able to visit the places we do!

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On our way out the back gate!

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After that we walked back to Selcuk, and I cannot believe that we didn’t get pictures, but there was literally a gypsy festival on the path back.  They were singing and celebrating, and the whole thing really added to the “pilgrimage feel” of our trip!

We stopped and had a very nice dinner in Selcuk, and we caught the train back to Izmir, and then our plane back to Istanbul! We then took a cab ride back to our hotel ($40)! We got back pretty late, I think around midnight, but we didn’t have any place to be the next day so we were able to just sleep in.

All in all, it was one of the best days I have ever had!  We saw amazing historical Christian sites, saved a boatload of money, and successfully completed a fly-by-the-seat-of-our-pants last minute trip!  It’s a day we will always look back on and remember with great joy and thanksgiving Smile.

“I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.” Ephesians 3:16-19

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Passion for the Heart of God–Meeting Our Heroes

I remember when Nick and I first got married what my hopes and goals for our future were.  First of all, we would have three beautiful biological children (fingers crossed, no special needs), a five bedroom house – decorated in the latest and greatest from Pottery Barn on acreage, all of our three beautiful children would attend only the best private Christian schools.  Maybe we would even a have a time share and get to travel some!  Of course we would attend church regularly (maybe we would even be important there, oh wow, wouldn’t that be nice!?!), maybe lead a small group, and TITHE of course of course.

Never mind that there’s no mention in there of caring for orphans, widows, the poor, suffering, leaving loved ones for the sake of the kingdom, evangelizing and sharing the gospel or anything of the things that Jesus actually TOLD US TO DO!

Isn’t that what Christians in America are supposed to do, ignore Jesus’ words and live out our days in wealth and comfort? We were straight on a course to living the American dream.

Until the Spring of 2007 that is, when on the suggestion of Nick’s sister, we enrolled in the Perspectives Class.  That would definitely be the first time that we realized that this whole Christianity thing wasn’t about us and our comfort, but about GOD and His plans.  And more importantly His heart.

“For God so loved the WORLD, that He gave His only begotten Son, that who so ever believes in Him, shall not perish, but shall have everlasting life.” John 3:16

That was the first Bible verse I ever memorized as a child. You can hear a verse over and over and lose sight of the actual meaning.  God so loved the WORLD, not just Israel, not just the United States, but each and every human being that ever walked the planet.  And truthfully, He cares more for His Glory than for our comfort. He wants to use us to draw ALL people back to Him.  Every tongue, every tribe, every nation. That is His heart, from cover to cover, from page to page, the Bible tells us that God’s heart is for the WORLD.

I cannot condense what I learned in a 10 week class down into a few words, but it changed Nick and me.  From that moment on, Nick and I started to get much more purposeful in our prayers.  We wanted to know how God would use US to make His Glory shine through the nations.  I always joke about “our empire”, but really, what I mean is, how will the Holy Spirit use us to expand His Empire?

This prayer has lead us on a very different journey than what I had originally imagined for our family, but one way that it has not lead us is to really let go of everything, leave our beloved Fathers and Mothers forever, sell everything, give everything up for the sake of the kingdom.  (I kind of wish that it had!)  However, I do feel like God has always had us exactly where He wants us!

Ok, this is the longest post ever.  I just cannot be brief when I blog!

I have a point. There are people out there who truly do give up EVERYTHING for the sake of the kingdom.  They sell off their possessions, leave their homes forever, they make God’s passion their own, and they leave their comfortable Christian lives to be a light in a dark place. Those people are my heroes.  They are like Andrew Breitbart, Cory Morrow, and Walt Disney combined for me (if you don’t know who some of those people above are – they would be people who would make a conservative Texan FREAK OUT they are so awesome)!

Not too long ago, I stumbled across a blog, via Kelly’s Korner, Show Us Your Life International Bloggers, about a place called “Narnia”.  I was intrigued, so I started to read it.  I quickly realized that I had stumbled across the blog of Christians living as “m-words” in a very Muslim country.  So Muslim in fact, that they could not use certain words on their blog or even disclose their actual location.

Eventually I pieced together their location through obsessive stalking casual reading, and I realized that they lived not too far from us… and not only that, but in a place that I had ALWAYS, ALWAYS wanted to visit!

We had the opportunity to visit this place in May, and I contacted Elizabeth, the blog’s main author and I asked if she would be willing to meet with us!  Thankfully she and her amazing family were able to meet with us, and I was so excited!

Like I said, these people are ROCK STARS to me!  I was so excited to meet them.  I kept telling myself to just “be cool”, “be cool, Stori”.  It was so amazing to meet with them and pick their brain and find out how the came to be where they were!  At one point Nick actually used the acronym “SOL” (yes, that SOL) while talking with them, and they were so cool about it!  I was a little bit mortified…

Anyway, meeting with them was a dream come true!  We will continue to pray for them and their success, that God would soften the hearts of those they encounter and that He would provide them with many opportunities to share about His Son.

Heroes

Oh, and this is their youngest daughter, Lucy.  She was so sweet to Isla and kept her entertained the entire night.  Isla loved getting to play with such a sweet, big girl! She talked about Lucy the rest of the trip. Smile

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Elizabeth wrote about meeting us HERE.  We were so honored to meet them!

Jesus went through all the towns and villages, teaching in their synagogues, proclaiming the good news of the kingdom and healing every disease and sickness. When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. Then he said to his disciples, “The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field.” Matthew 9:35-39

***If you are interested in taking the Perspectives Class, please click HERE to find one near your house.

***If you are interested in learning more about God’s heart for missions and the world, I highly recommend the book, Passion for the Heart of God by John Zumwalt, you can order it from Amazon. com HERE.

Pure and Undefiled Religion

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