I have been feeling very dissatisfied with myself and my “performance” in my role as a wife and mother and I am ashamed to admit that having Agnessa come twice a week to help did not free up my time nor did it improve my ability to parent Isla or be a good wife to Nick. On the contrary, it only increased my want and desire for more “ME” time. God revealed to me one day in prayer that the more I resisted his efforts to help me die to myself, the unhappier I would be. Selfishness only breeds more selfishness.
“The man who loves his life will lose it, while the man who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life.” John 12:25
Then for good measure he sent this article along that cemented it for me. It really hit home! I promise you I was not searching for it. Here is an excerpt:
Me Time is a myth. It is an unattainable, always interruptible, never satisfying piece of junk psychology. Me Time, by its very name, suggests that who we are during the daily grind is not who we truly are. It begs us to search for fulfillment outside of the titles of “wife” and “mother.” It accuses precious little ones and God-given spouses for suppressing us. It reduces motherhood to a disease in which little dirty faces and endless monotonous tasks slowly suck the life out of us. It says we can never be refreshed by spending time in the presence of those we care for day in and day out. It points out a perceived hole in our world that needs to be filled, a tank that must be refueled, a monster that will swallow us if we neglect to feed it Me Time.
One sentence really hit home.
We will snap at our children any time they try to draw us out of our precious time alone.
You can read the full article HERE.
I want this year to be about becoming less and dying to myself so that He can become greater. I hope you find this article as challenging and as encouraging as I did!