This class made me realize things about my husband and myself and the way that God created us to be. One of the principles that they teach wives on their husbands is "appreciating his desire to serve and to lead." I am realizing that God designed Nick's shoulders to be able to carry things that mine were just never designed to carry.
Like why does he never come home crying over things that have happened at work? And yet I frequently do, and he listens patiently and always offers good advice. (Before you judge me, even Margaret Thatcher used to cry to her husband over Parliament when she went home!) I used to wonder why Nick never minded not having a choice about working once we have kids, I couldn't stand the thought of not being able to choose whether to go back to work or stay home.
I asked him a few weeks ago... "how can you stand it? How can you stand how much the baby and I will need you? We'll need you to take care of us, to support us, to provide for us, and not just financially. We'll just need you - your leadership, wisdom, counsel, love, attention, affection." Nick just gave me a look that said "Why is my crazy wife asking me these questions?" What he said was "I don't know, I just can." LOL, that's Nick for you! But still, that's a lot of pressure on one man, the pressure that is on every good man!
But it is so clear to me now, that is just the way that God designed him, and all good men. That's why he can stand a pressure that would crush me. Recognizing and accepting this about my husband has been one of the most relief filled experiences of my life! Before, I was always content to let him lead, but I always felt guilty that unless I was doing everything he was doing, that I wasn't pulling my weight. That I wasn't contributing enough to our family. That I had to strive and struggle. Nick never made me feel that way, I made me feel that way, but I am not going to feel that way anymore! I don't have to project my feelings onto him or worry that he minds the responsibility. I have such a good husband and such a good God, whose word can always be trusted to lead to freedom and peace!
"For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior... Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church." Ephesians 5:23, 25-29