"In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps."

Thursday, December 17, 2009

The Three Little Preggies

So, I've mentioned before that two of my dearest friends are pregnant with me! We finally got around to taking a picture of the three of us at a Christmas party that I threw. 23 people + 3 babies came, I'll post pictures if I can get them from Elysha.

Disclaimer: I look horrible... yuck! I feel like my nose is getting bigger, and sho nuff, so are my cheeks!!! Please keep in mind that I had been running around all day to throw the party together, and then entertaining guest for a couple of hours. But try to ignore me, and focus on my adorable bump that holds my adorable baby :).

Also, that's my foyer... I painted the true blue to a lighter color. Do you like it?

Me @ 23 weeks with the Wannton, Elysha @ 31 weeks with Nathan, and Jessica @ 32 weeks with Avery!

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

I think of a Conservative and I take away REASON and ACCOUNTABILITY...

I was just on Baby Center, which I normally love because it has a lot of great advice, and I especially love that most questions you have have an MD answer them, but then readers can post about their experiences and whatnot.

I didn't love it today.

There was one post from women titled "No Paid Maternity Leave" and she was very angry because she was pregnant and her company did not offer paid maternity leave. And of course, there were a lot of other mothers in the same boat, railing against the US Government for not offering paid maternity leave or for forcing companies to.

Just because we're all hormonal, that doesn't mean we can't be logical.

First, I know that when I started with my current company, I made sure to inquire about their maternity leave BEFORE I got pregnant. I learned that I would receive 6 weeks partially paid disability, and after that up to 6 months unpaid dependent care leave. Even with the 6 weeks paid (for vaginal delivery, 8 weeks for C-section), I would have to purchase supplemental insurance called Income Protection Insurance (IPI) in order to receive full pay for the 6 weeks, and not part time pay. Keeping that in mind, my husband and I made the decision to purchase the IPI for $30/month, and we knew that if I wanted to take more than 6 weeks off, then we would have to save our own money.

So we did. But I guarantee you, if we hadn't been prepared, we would never have blamed anyone for our predicament but ourselves.

People need to take ownership of their decisions to start a family. The money for paid maternity has to come from somewhere; if the paid maternity leave comes from the government, then the government obtains the money by taxing other people. I personally prefer not to have paid maternity leave because I don't expect anyone else to pay for my decision to start a family, and I don't want to pay for someone elses. And as they say - "Poor planning on your part, does not constitute an emergency on my part."

It is the same thing with the Health Insurance bill. I have been following this since the early summer, but it is so complex that at times its hard for me to wrap my head around. And how do you explain what a mess it is, when the entire thing is mess? And its just so depressing to think that the best health care system in the world is about to be legislated out of existence. So I am going to explain my opposition to it by telling a little story...

Nick and I have never been without health insurance, not even when we were just barely married. We were broke, and moving to California. I did not have a job lined up in California, and we were getting ready to pay through the nose for Nick to attend graduate school. Even with no income, we managed to scrimp together $200/month to buy private insurance. This insurance didn't cover regular Doctor's visits, but it covered emergency situations. We knew we were covered if something really serious happened. We kept it up until I was able to find a job and we did without other things so that we could have health insurance. Not having money is no excuse to not have health insurance.

A few years ago, a friend of mine had to go to the emergency room. This friend was a contract employee, so she didn't have insurance through her company, but I know for a fact that she was making $80k+/per year. She made decision not to purchase private insurance, and I'm pretty sure that she could afford it on that salary. After all was said and done, she had a bill of over $1000. The quality of care that she received was excellent, she was back in the office after only a day out.

We were talking about it afterwards, and she admitted that she was a socialist and thought that it was ridiculous that she had to pay $1000+. Healthcare should be "free", like it is in Europe. Any idiot knows that there is no such thing as a free lunch. What she didn't realize is that she was giving up her freedom of choice. She made the choice to not purchase health insurance and to spend her money on other frivolous things. The alternative is the government providing her with health care, but raising her taxes and forcing her to pay for it.

This friend and her husband takes frequent vacations all over the world to exotic locations. Her husband drives a fancy German car. They both dress nicely and have stylish hair. They recently bought a house, in spite of the fact that they have mountains of school loans.

My husband and I do not take vacations. We drive old cars. We do not dress stylishly. I do not highlight my hair. We do not have nice furniture. We recently bought a flat screen TV and it was a big spending decision. We do not have cable. I am DYING for a Playstation 3, but its $300 that is better spent elsewhere so I don't buy one. Why? Because we understand the importance of priorities, and our priorities are flood insurance, house insurance, car insurance, long term disability, short term disability, IPI, life insurance, and retirement.

I would like very much to go on nice vacations, to buy all of my furniture from Pottery Barn, to have stylish clothes. I supposed that I could spend all of my money on those things right now, and then expect someone else to step up and pay for me if I am permanently disabled, or to pay for me when I get old, or to pay for my visits to the hospital.

It is the height of selfishness and it makes me angry. Why should my taxes be raised so that my friend can do all of the things that I wouldn't dream about doing? In essence, I have been denying myself, so that she can go out and do as she pleases and pay for luxuries and ignore the essentials like health care. She's not worried... she voted for Barack Obama! He'll make sure that she never has to worry about responsibilities, and that her finances are free for her next vacation!

Its especially hitting close to home now. I look at the life that Nick and I have built, and the hard work that we have put in so that we would have freedom and choices. One choice that is especially dear to me right now, is the choice to be able to stay at home for as long as I would like when the Wannton comes. We have always structured our finances around Nick's income, so that we would be prepared when the time came so that I would never feel the need to rush back to work.

If they raised taxes to pay for Universal Health Care, or Paid Maternity Leave, or Cap and Trade... that would be it. I would have to go back to work. My choice would be made for me. The taxes can and will get to point where we can't manage them on one income. The Congressional Budget Office estimates that energy costs alone would be raised by $1,600 per household annually if the Cap and Trade passes.

Its kind of ironic that Paid Maternity Leave would force mothers back to work when they don't really want to go, isn't it? Not to worry, there will always been the option of putting your children in FREE Government run day care!

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

The Turn

"It is the mark of a good fairy-story, of the higher or more complete kind, that however wild its events, however fantastic or terrible the adventures, it can give to child or man that hears it, when the ‘turn’ comes, a catch of the breath, a beat and lifting of the heart, near to (or indeed accompanied by) tears, as keen as that given by any form of literary art, and having a peculiar quality."~ JRR Tolkien

My Turn books:

The Last Battle, The Chronicles of Narnia: "All their life in this world and all their adventures in Narnia had only been the cover and the title page: now at last they were beginning Chapter One of the Great Story which no one on earth has read: which goes on for ever: in which every chapter is better than the one before."

The Hobbit: "I come from under the hill, and under the hills and over the hills my paths led. And through the air. I am he that walks unseen. I am the clue-finder, the web-cutter, the stinging fly. I was chosen for the lucky number. I am he that buries his friends alive and drowns them and draws them alive again from the water. I came from the end of bag, but no bag went over me. I am the friend of bears and the guest of eagles. I am Ring-winner and Luckwearer; and I am Barrel-rider."~ Bilbo Baggins

The Fellowship of the Ring: "This is the hour of the Shire-folk, when they arise from their quiet fields to shake the towers and counsels of the Great. Who of all the Wise could have foreseen it? Or, if they are wise, why should they expect to know it, until the hour has struck?"~ Elrond

Wuthering Heights: "Heaven did not seem to be my home; and I broke my heart with weeping to come back to earth; and the angels were so angry that they flung me out into the middle of the heath on the top of Wuthering Heights; where I woke sobbing for joy."~ Cathy

The Bluest Eye: "It had occurred to Pecola some time ago that if her eyes, those eyes that held the pictures, and knew the sights-if those eyes of hers were different, that is to say, beautiful, she herself would be different."

A Doll's House: "Our home has been nothing but a playroom. I have been your doll-wife, just as at home I was papa's doll-child; and here the children have been my dolls. I thought it great fun when you played with me, just as they thought it great fun when I played with them. "~ Nora
Gone with the Wind: "You're so brutal to those who love you, Scarlett. You take their love and hold it over their heads like a whip."~ Rhett Butler

Anne of Green Gables: "For we pay a price for everything we get or take in this world; and although ambitions are well worth having, they are not to be cheaply won, but exact their dues of work and self-denial, anxiety and discouragement."

Dune: "And take the most special care that you locate Muad'Dib in his place: the planet Arrakis. Do not be deceived by the fact that he was born on Caladan and lived his first fifteen years there. Arrakis, the planet known as Dune, is forever his place."~ Irulan

Little Women: "...and clung more closely to the dear human love, from which our Father never means us to be weaned, but through which He draws us closer to Himself. She could not say, 'I'm glad to go,' for life was very sweet for her. She could only sob out, 'I try to be willing,' while she held fast to Jo, as the first bitter wave of this great sorrow broke over them together."

I have waited years to be able to share those books with my children, and I am so thrilled that it is getting so, so, so, so close... Hopefully the baby will skip right out of the womb and into the classics, and I can share my friends with him or her. I love them, and they give me the greatest thrills and shivers whenever I read them. Some I love for their very fairy-ness, but others because they make me think and explore and understand people and concepts that I would never have encountered otherwise. They've taught me about goodness, ideals, and the importance of aspirations and ambitions and perseverance, and most importantly, they've given me a heart for children and an understanding of the need for an adored and well protected childhood. Every baby deserves that.

And I can't leave off my favorite book, The Good Book. It gives me The Turn everytime I read it, because its the best of all the fairy stories... and the only one that is really true!

The Holy Bible:
"Behold the Lamb of God, who takes away the sins of the world."~John 1:29

Jesus replied, "I tell you, if they kept silent, the stones would cry out!"~Luke 19:40

Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea. I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, "Now the dwelling of God is with men, and he will live with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away." He who was seated on the throne said, "I am making everything new!" Then he said, "Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true."~Revelation 21:1-5

Do you have any books that you love? That give you The Turn when you read them? Any favorite quotes?

Monday, December 7, 2009

22 Week Wannton

Here he/she is, a few days later than promised! Also, no bump picture... but you don't want to see me, do you? We had our 21 and 2 day ultrasound last Wednesday, and it was so wonderful! We did NOT find out the sex of the baby. When we were getting set up, I didn't say anything because I assumed she would ask when the time was right. Nick finally got tired of waiting for me to say something and told her that we did not want to know! He was afraid that in the moment, I would shout out "YES, TELL ME!" so he wanted to nip in in the bud before I could get caught up in the excitement.

We have a DVD of the experience, which I was going to post, but I am afraid of all of the armchair gender predictors analyzing it and spoiling our surprise ;). We're even afraid to watch it again. I've already had one friend tell me that she can totally make out a male appendage from the pictures below... but I don't see it, do you? All I see are some sweet curled up baby legs and the umbilical cord!

The baby weighs 14 oz in our picturea. Nick and I have also decided not to do a 4D ultrasound because we figure if we are going for mystery... we are going for mystery all the way! I do think that they are the coolest things in the world, so I will just have to live vicariously through Jessica and cutie pie Avery. You can already tell from the regular ultrasounds what a beauty she will be!

Head Shot, Spine and Stomach:

There really is something to be said for mother's instinct because when I show these to people, they have no idea what they are looking at! To me its so clear though, I can make out the head, and the nose, and the cheeks, and every little thing. Its so magical, and I incredibly thankful for my Wannton. I've had two people (Nick and Khadija) comment on the babies round cheeks! I have been praying and praying the baby wouldn't inherit those from me, but I fear they may be right. I take comfort in the fact that the baby has the absolute sweetest little chin and jawline! I can't wait to meet my baby.
Full Body, with legs curled... and no penis, Jessy. See the baby putting his/her sweet fingers in their mouth?:
I'm 22 weeks today, and I have been feeling the baby move for a few weeks now. Nick has also been able to feel the baby move many times, the first time of which was just during the 20th week! I sort of force him to keep his hand on my stomach whenever we are in bed or watching TV. I can't believe his hand isn't permanently glued to my stomach! He has been talking to my stomach a lot, which is off the charts cute. I love him so much.
As for me, I have gained 7 pounds and my thyroid is back to normal. I have a feeling the pounds are going to start piling on, especially with the Holidays! I haven't had any nausea since week 15, except for a couple of days last week. My energy is up a leeeetle bit, but now my back and tail bone have started killing me! I also have a raging cold :(. I am starting to really love being pregnant though. Its pretty magical, and I am so aware of the baby now that he/she has started moving. There is a list of approved medications that my Dr told me I could take that I took earlier in the pregnancy sparingly. But now I just can't bring myself too. It has suddenly become so real, and eventhough they say its safe... I will just tough these things out!
Old Business:
The Gender Poll - The votes were fairly evenly split, with the odds slightly in favor of boy at 40%. Girl and No Idea came in at 30% each. Unofficial polling is pretty evenly split too! Both grandmothers think girl, both Nick and mine's sister think boy, one friend thinks girl, another boy... and its pretty even across the board. We plan to keep everyone guessing!

Monday, November 30, 2009

Making Memories of Us, Part 2

Ok, I so I know I came across as all “Woe is me” in my last post, but I am so blessed, and I have a lot of wonderful things. I am also feeling very bloggy/chatty, after this post I have another one that I want to do, and then one on Wednesday. What’s on Wednesday you ask? Well, Wednesday is my half-way ultrasound, and I plan to update you all on the Wannton with ultrasound pictures and bump pictures, and regale you with stories of all of the milestones I’ve hit! I bet you can’t wait, can you??? :)

So if you’ll recall my four Christmas decorations that I’ve wanted to get since I got married (I know its hard because its been so long between posts):
1. Lovely Nativity Set
2. A Tree Skirt
3. A Tree Topper, preferably an angel
4. And to start a Department 56 village

If you don’t know what a Department 56 village is, go check it out! It might not be for everyone, but its one of my favorite childhood Christmas memories. My mother had the Department 56 “Dicken’s” village, and every year she would add a piece or two. I just loved buying her pieces with my dad, and setting it up, and looking at all of the figures and tying them into which Dicken’s novels I had read. They just make me think of Christmas!

So, after I was done at Pottery Barn, I decided that this was also the year that I would start my village. Every year, I’ve tried to do it… but I couldn’t decide which one I wanted. First I was going to do the “O Little Town of Bethlehem” village, but the year I discovered it, they discontinued it. BOO! Then I thought the “North Pole” village because it colorful and whimsical, and anyone who knows me, knows I love a touch of whimsy! Then I thought maybe “Elfland” because, also anyone who knows me, knows I love all fairy creatures, especially the elvish kind that repair your shoes when your asleep!

***Side note, I do love the LOTR elves, but they are so tall and fair, that I can’t really relate to them. We all know I’m part hobbit!

The one I really didn’t want was the Dicken’s village because I didn’t want to copy my mom. However, after looking at all of the villages again… I decided to start their “Dicken’s A Christmas Carol” series anyway. It’s such a wonderful story of redemption, forgiveness and a changed heart. I am getting older, and I know myself better and better all the time, and the truth is, I am nothing if not a story lover.

So, I started with “Ebenezer Scrooge’s House” and “A Christmas Carol Visit” with Scrooge and the Three Christmas Ghosts. I can’t wait until they get in! I can just imagine reading “A Christmas Carol” to my babies every year and setting this up with them. I really, really want “Cratchit’s Corner” house and “Bob Cratchit and Tiny Tim” and “The Big Prize Turkey” figurines, but part of the fun is pacing yourself and just buying a few pieces a year. We’ll just have to see how I do!

Making Memories of Us, Part 1

I love Christmas, I really do, but I am the worst about decorating for it. Nick and I have not had a Christmas tree since our first year of marriage (2005!). We are usually away from home at Christmas, so there rarely seems to be any point.

Also, I always want to buy Christmas decorations but there are so many cute ones out there, that again, I just get overwhelmed and don’t know what to buy. I find that spending money overwhelms me… I want to spend it on worthwhile things because I work so hard for it, but sometimes it’s hard to figure out what is worthwhile! So as a result, every year I have vowed to buy Christmas decorations, and every year I can’t figure out what to buy and get fed up and don’t buy anything! I also feel frivolous when so many people around the world have real needs.

This year I am getting serious about Christmas because we have a baby coming, and I want him or her to have many special memories. It’s the holiday where we celebrate the savior of the world, so it should be special and magical! I’ll still give away a lot, but I need to work on appreciating the blessings that God gives me and not feeling so guilty about them.

I have wanted four Christmas things since we got married:
1. A Lovely Nativity Set
2. A Tree Skirt
3. A Tree Topper, preferably an angel
4. And to start a Department 56 village

Yesterday, I decided to just bite the bullet and buy a tree skirt, I knew the exact one I wanted from Pottery Barn so I went onto the Pottery Barn website. Nothing was going to stop me; I was determined! But then, the one I really wanted was too expensive once I really looked at the price, so I picked the next one down, which was still nice. Then I started looking around for other people, and they had a lot of wonderful neat gifts that I can’t get into because those people read my blog. By the time I had added my tree skirt and gifts, my tally was so high that I felt bad about spending that much money… so what did I do? I took off the tree skirt and just bought for other people. Are you getting an inkling of what has happened the past few years?

Then I stopped myself, and I decided that NO, I need to get something decorative for Christmas for myself. This is why I have no Christmas decorations, so I really need to take baby steps. So I bought a lovely ornament with Nick and mine’s initials, and I’ll put pictures into it of us. I am excited... even if it isn’t the Tree Skirt I wanted. I think I’ll just have a look around Target, the poor man’s Pottery Barn, this week and see what I can find for my Tree Skirt!

Thanksgiving 2009!

I almost titled this post… A Wannderful Thanksgiving, but I thought I would spare y’all! It was a wonderful Thankgiving filled with Wanns since we drove to Dallas to spend it with Nick’s family.

The best part… getting to spend three days with my precious nephew Barrett! He is 8 months, going on 9 months, and Nick and I love him so much. He’s a very mellow baby, and I’m hoping his cousin takes after him. He smiles a lot, and he’s crawling and into everything! And everything then goes into his mouth! He adored his Uncle Nick, but then again most babies do.
Thanksgiving day there was a big crowd at Nick’s parents house. His mom and dad, BIL, Brady and sister, Tiffany, Baby Bear (of course!), his Mema and Papaw (Mom’s parents), his Granny (Dad’s mom), his Aunt Eva and Uncle Ron, and his cousin Colleen and her two cute little girls, Erin and Carmen. Oh and I can't forget the dogs, we brought Frodo and Tiffany and Brady brought Jazzy (Jasmine), their new collie, and Jim and Melody already had C.J.. They provided many hours of amusement! It was just a nice time and there was a ton of food, and in the evening everyone was in a food coma.
Then of course, the A&M/t.u. game. My stomach was all in knots before the game because I was sure it was going to be a pretty humiliating defeat, like Arkansas, Kansas State, Oklahoma… but we held our own and I was proud. I knew we would lose because we were not the better team this year, but we didn’t go down without a fight. I secretly wish that everyone could win because after all… its just football!

Friday everyone in Nick’s family got at 3:30 AM to hit the Black Friday deals, everyone except Mema and me! I am not fully Wann yet I guess, because I couldn’t think of anything I wanted to do less. I changed my mind a million times about going, but finally I decided to just sleep. A pregnant girl needs her sleep, and I also am no big fan of crowds, cold or the possibility of getting tramped to death!

Later on that day I finally registered at Babies R Us. I took Tiffany, my SIL because I had no idea what to get. And can I just say… I really didn’t know what to get! I just basically followed her around and she told me what to register for. I need to get online and update it a bit because I scanned too many things, like I think I have 6 changing pad covers. I didn’t worry about it because I knew I could just go online and sort everything later. It’s a little overwhelming to go into the store and hope to get it perfect the first time.

The next day we just went shopping and had a great time, and then yesterday Nick and I drove all the way home. It was a great time with family and I am so blessed!

Tuesday, November 17, 2009


Nick and I have just finished a bible study through our church on marriage called Love and Respect. I have always thought that Nick and I had a wonderful marriage, but this class was so eye opening. I have always had the highest opinion of my husband, I respect him and I think he's so wise. He is always full of good counsel, and infinitely patient with me and kind to me... eventhough I can still be the world's biggest cranky pants at times!

This class made me realize things about my husband and myself and the way that God created us to be. One of the principles that they teach wives on their husbands is "appreciating his desire to serve and to lead." I am realizing that God designed Nick's shoulders to be able to carry things that mine were just never designed to carry.

Like why does he never come home crying over things that have happened at work? And yet I frequently do, and he listens patiently and always offers good advice. (Before you judge me, even Margaret Thatcher used to cry to her husband over Parliament when she went home!) I used to wonder why Nick never minded not having a choice about working once we have kids, I couldn't stand the thought of not being able to choose whether to go back to work or stay home.

I asked him a few weeks ago... "how can you stand it? How can you stand how much the baby and I will need you? We'll need you to take care of us, to support us, to provide for us, and not just financially. We'll just need you - your leadership, wisdom, counsel, love, attention, affection." Nick just gave me a look that said "Why is my crazy wife asking me these questions?" What he said was "I don't know, I just can." LOL, that's Nick for you! But still, that's a lot of pressure on one man, the pressure that is on every good man!

But it is so clear to me now, that is just the way that God designed him, and all good men. That's why he can stand a pressure that would crush me. Recognizing and accepting this about my husband has been one of the most relief filled experiences of my life! Before, I was always content to let him lead, but I always felt guilty that unless I was doing everything he was doing, that I wasn't pulling my weight. That I wasn't contributing enough to our family. That I had to strive and struggle. Nick never made me feel that way, I made me feel that way, but I am not going to feel that way anymore! I don't have to project my feelings onto him or worry that he minds the responsibility. I have such a good husband and such a good God, whose word can always be trusted to lead to freedom and peace!
"For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior... Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church." Ephesians 5:23, 25-29

Friday, November 13, 2009

They'll Give Anybody a Baby...

Haha, this is not the kind of candid shot that would inspire one to think that she will be a great mother! I have a lot to learn...

Elysha, however, has already mastered the art of ignoring the chaos!

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

17 Weeks!

Well, I had my third Drs appointment today and I got to hear the heartbeat for the first time! Last time they couldn't find it, but it was ok... they let me have another ultrasound so it was all worth it.

So the heartbeat is 145 beats per minute... which according to some old wives tales indicates that its a girl, we'll just have to wait and see!

As for Mama, I have only gained 2 pounds! I was in disbelief because I feel like a chunky monkey. I didn't gain any weight between my first two appointments at all! Nick also registered a look of shock when I told him... he thought I had gained more too. I am not sure how I feel about that :). Actually though, the one thing that keeps coming up abnormal on my blood test is my thyroid, apparently its been a little hyperactive, which is probably why I haven't been gaining that much weight. I am not complaining about that, and the Doc says that as long as I am not losing weight that everything should be ok!

Here's a pic of me taken a few days ago... see I am a chunky monkey!

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Infertility - How He Loves

This is a post that I have been wanting to make for a very long time, but I keep putting it off because its just too personal. Tonight though, I seem to have hit upon the right combination of pregnancy hormones, loneliness (my beloved is away all week and can barely even call or email), and also a desire to procrastinate from cleaning my floors that are filthy!

Most of my really close friends know that Nick and I tried for two years before we conceived. I know that I am pregnant now, but they define infertility as trying to a year and still not becoming pregnant. Anyone who has gone through this any length of time can tell you how emotionally draining it is, and I know that I didn't even have to struggle with it for as long as some people. Every month you have a very visible reminder of your failure.

I can remember days where I would feel desperately sad and frustrated, unable to concentrate on anything. There were days where I cried and cried for hours and howled in frustration and grief at My Lord. I couldn't understand why someone who was only 24, then 25, could have these problems? Wasn't I faithful? Didn't I love My Lord? Wouldn't I raise Godly children? There's no way I would be a worse mom than some of the people who I knew who were getting pregnant. Most of my friends I was so happy for, but its hard to be happy for a teenage single mother who drank during pregnancy.

My first comfort was my beloved Husband. How could I doubt the goodness of God when he gave me this man who I do not deserve? I do not deserve my husband and his unwavering patience with me and his unconditional, agape kind of love for me. He taught me the way that God loves and made it so clear to me that it wasn't a fighting kind of love, but a resting kind of love. I don't know any other way to say it. I loved to read the story of Hannah in Samuel 1, and the love that her husband had for her because I think Nick loves me that much. Its one of the clearest and most explicit examples in the bible on a husband loving his wife. "Whenever the day came for Elkanah to sacrifice... to Hannah he gave a double portion because he loved her, and the LORD had closed her womb... Elkanah her husband would say to her, "Hannah, why are you weeping? Why don't you eat? Why are you downhearted? Don't I mean more to you than ten sons?" I also liked that I didn't have to worry about my husband taking a second wife to gain children, ha!

Anyway, I can sure be long winded when I want to be! But the whole reason that I started this post was to share something that I found one day when I was particularly low and overwhelmed with misery. I was at work and I couldn't concentrate I was feeling so miserable, and I know its not right to cheat my workplace. I found this, read it many times, and it comforted me at a very low point. Maybe someday I will figure out blog brevity... but today is not that day!

"Children. I want children. Not just a baby. Not just a child. I want children. Three of them. If I were younger, I might want more, but at thirty-four three seems like a good number. Marrying a little late and moving across the country a couple of times as well as a long-running struggle to pay the rent delayed the real trying for a while.

The trying has been going on for a long time now. Not as long a many of you, but much longer than most.To no avail. No children. Not one pregnancy. I have never experienced that wonder of knowing that there is a life inside of me. Instead, there is a longing that will not be filled, that will not be diminished, that will not end this side of heaven without children to fill it.Nothing else in my life has been as baffling to me as not being able to conceive a child. My emotions hide even from myself, spilling out in tears of sadness or anger at the most inopportune times. There have been no days of real clarity, no times when a light has come on to show the way—not even a little. But the mysterious and marvelous mercy of God has convinced me of one thing in all of this—it is dark because I am in that deep, hidden place under God’s wing.

Certainly, the inability to bear children to the glory of God is due to the sinfulness of sin and its effect on all of life. It is not that God punishes us by not allowing us to give birth to the offspring we most desperately desire. It is rather that we, along with all of creation, suffer the wretched consequences of the sin of our first mother and father, Adam and Eve, compounded by the sin of all the sinners who have come after them. And that, of course, is all of us.

Since this is so, I know that, as with all of life, I must not put my trust in anything other than God, even in the provision of a child. This does not necessarily mean that I may not use a medical intervention to try to conceive a child. It does not mean that adoption is not an option to pursue. Rather, I trust that God in His mercy has given us these means as part of His redemption from the effects of the Fall.

At times the knowledge that God has given His covenant of grace to believers and their children makes not being able to have a child even more difficult to understand and bear. God has rescued me from such a desperate place and has given me such a glorious glimpse of Himself that I want, with all that is within me, to see this passed on to the next generation of my family, my children.

My heart cries out, “Why, O God, will You not answer this prayer? Why will You not do this simple thing for me and for Your own name’s sake? You do it for so many so easily. Your marvelous grace. Why not to me?” With thoughts like these, it is easy to fall into deep despair, and at times I certainly do. When this happens, God in His time and His various graceful ways, comes to me to remind me that I am not alone. He does not, as so many do, tell me that “my time will come.” He does not say that if I will just relax and not try so hard, everything will be okay. He does not say, “If you adopt a baby, you’ll get pregnant.” He does say that He is with me. He weeps with me as Jesus wept for Lazarus. He reminds me that He is good and that He can be trusted with my heart. Any doubt of that was wiped away at the Cross.

He has given His best to me, His own beautiful, beloved Child. Will He withhold any good thing from me? No, never. Is Jesus enough to make up for this aching void in my soul? I do not always feel that it is so. But it is. Jesus loves me—this I know."

-Debbie Trickett, from The True Woman by Susan Hunt

Sunday, October 25, 2009

A Spoiled Little Wannton

I'm beginning to think that all my mom does is sit around and shop for and/or make things for our little Wannton. Not that I'm complaining, I love that my sweet baby is so loved already. She's done a few really special things, and so far my favorite is that she completely refurbished my old rocking horse!!! She restained it, redid the eyes and ears, the leather harness, and the hair, and now what do you think of the end result?

As of tomorrow, I will be 16 weeks already! Can you believe it? I can hardly believe that it is passing by so quickly. My little countdown clock is already down to 168 days, and I remember when I couldn't wait for it to get down to below 200.

One of the reasons why I have been kind of MIA from the blog scene is that last week I was very sick with a virus. Thankfully it wasn't the flu or strep, but I still had to take an entire week of off work because your immune system is very weak when you are pregnant, and then this week has been so busy as I tried to play catch up at work! Then I had a class to take for work that went through today (Sunday) and its back to work tomorrow, so needless to say, I am pooped.

When I was sick, I thought that the Doctors would try to limit the medication, but oh my, they DID NOT! It was crazy. They told me to alternate Advil and Tylenol every 4 hours, then they reduced it to 3 hours. Then they prescribed me a Z-Pack. Then they told me to alternate Sudafed and Claritan every four hours. Then they told me to take Robitussin for my cough on top of all of that! I didn't really end up taking it all because I can handle a stuffy nose and a cough. I did keep taking Advil and Tylenol because its really important to keep your temperature down, but I only took the other stuff occasionally to help with sleep.

And tomorrow, its back to the old grindstone... I need to take it easy or else I'll make myself sick all over again! Why haven't all Gulf of Mexico oil and gas operations ceased for my pregnancy? :)

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

What Do I Know of Holy?

The most beautiful song...


I made You promises a thousand times
I tried to hear from Heaven
But I talked the whole time
I think I made You too small
I never feared You at all No
If You touched my face would I know You?
Looked into my eyes could I behold You?

What do I know of You
Who spoke me into motion?
Where have I even stood
But the shore along Your ocean?
Are You fire? Are You fury?
Are You sacred? Are You beautiful?
What do I know? What do I know of Holy?

I guess I thought that I had figured You out
I knew all the stories and I learned to talk about
How You were might to save
Those were only empty words on a page
Then I caught a glimpse of who You might be
The slightest hint of You brought me down to my knees

What do I know of You
Who spoke me into motion?
Where have I even stood
But the shore along Your ocean?
Are You fire? Are You fury?
Are You sacred? Are You beautiful?
What do I know? What do I know of Holy?

What do I know of Holy?
What do I know of wounds that will heal my shame?
And a God who gave life it's name?
What do I know of Holy?
Of the One who the angels praise?
All creation knows Your name
On earth and heaven above
What do I know of this love?

What do I know of You
Who spoke me into motion?
Where have I even stood
But the shore along Your ocean?
Are You fire? Are You fury?
Are You sacred? Are You beautiful?

What do I know? What do I know of Holy?
What do I know of Holy? What do I know of Holy?

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

My Regressing Musical Tastes

Ok, the great thing about a blog is that its yours and you can post WHATEVER you want. So I'm going to post something because I hope that someone responds and tells me that I am not alone.

I have recently begun bebopping my head to the new Miley Cyrus song, "Party in the USA" whenever I find it on the radio. I tried so hard to resist, but she's like the borg... resistance is futile! Please tell me I'm not the only 26 year old that likes a Miley song?

And Taylor Swift, she is soooo the kind of musician I would have made fun of, but secretly loved in high school a la Celine Dion. Well now I am an open Taylor Swift fan, in spite of the fact that one time, this girl - who I shall not name - scoffed at me and told me that she (Taylor Swift) was soooo high school. WHAT-EVER! She is super talented, and I LOVE her "Love Story" song. Remember when love used to be like that? Simple, boy and girl fall in love, decide they are right for one another and get married? That's how it was for Nick and I, it takes me back to an easier times.

Now its, boy and girl meet, have sex, decide that they are in love, decide to shack up, go back and forth about maybe staying together if they can get into a grad school in the same city, have a few kids together, and decide, ok, we'll get married now because I guess we are compatible enough after all we have been through. I mean... where's the romance? Seriously.

But this post is about music. I mean, in high school, I listened to the Offspring, Nirvana, Metallica, I did NOT listen to Britney or Christina, the old Mileys. Just yesterday, I had to change the channel when "Nothing Else Matters" came on the radio; I just couldn't take it! Most of Metallica's stuff sounds like noise to me now, as does all of the old Alternative/Punk/Rock groups I used to love. Anyone my age tried listening to "Strawberry" lately? Jeezums, I'm getting so old.

I've also started to really love Christian music, which even many years into becoming a Christian, I just couldn't take because I found it soooo cheesy. Do you want to know how far I've fallen? Just listen to "More Beautiful You" by Jonny Diaz, I love that song, it makes me cry every single time I hear it, and it might as well be slathered in Velveeta.

How have everyone elses' musical tastes changed since they were in high school? Is it just me? Would my cool meter raise slightly if I said that I love the Black Eyed Peas? :) JK, I feel pretty cool most of the time, except, of course, when "Party in the USA" comes on.

Monday, October 5, 2009

My Lovely Lady BUMP!

Please excuse my late bedtime hair...

13 Weeks Today!

Friday, October 2, 2009

The Results Are In!

Wannton it is! Thank you for all of your help. An intermediate name is a very important thing when you are not going to find out the sex of a baby.

The Results:
Little Wann - 1 Vote (9%)
Wannder Baby - 0 Votes
Wannton - 8 Votes (72%)
Snickadee - 0 Votes
WannaBee - 4 Votes (36%)

11 Votes Total

I'm no mathmagician, but something about those totals and and percentages don't look quite right to me... also at one point, I'm pretty sure that there was at least 1 voter for Wannder Baby. This poll was a little ghetto, but I don't think we need a recount because I am completely excited about Wannton :)

Other Cute Intermediate Names I've Heard:
Tiffany and Brady - Tibby
The Vanns - MiniVann
The Gribnaus - Griblet

So fun!

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

The Bill Bergen of Baby Guessing

I'm so excited! I actually have two friends that are pregnant with me, and they are due February 10th and 16th, my friend Jessica and my friend Elysha! Jessica found out on Monday that she is having a girl, and we were all convinced that she was having a boy. Elysha found out today that she was having a boy, and we were all convinced that she was having a girl. Our three babies are going to have so much fun on their playdates!

As for Nick and my baby, we've decided not to find out the sex. I will say that I am so glad that no matter what I can't be the odd girl out in our trio! I was secretly hoping that we would all have one sex or another so that they could all play, but I figured that there was only a 12.5% chance of that happening. They can still play of course, but they will want to be doing very different things before too long.

As for guessing on the sex of our baby, I give up, I am never guessing the sex of a baby again... I am always wrong. Let's review my sad, sad history of guessing gender in the unborn:

Emily - Girl, WRONG
Angie - Boy, WRONG
Staci - Girl, WRONG
Jessica - Girl, WRONG
Elysha - Boy, WRONG
Tiffany - Boy, WRONG
Ryan - Boy, WRONG
Kacy - Boy, WRONG
Shella - Boy, WRONG

There are others, I just can't think of them. So I've officially retired because there's a 0.01% chance that someone could be wrong about this 9 times in a row, but somehow I've managed to pull it off.

I do however, love to hear everyone else's guess about the Wannton! :)

Well, we've had breakfast yes, but...

I think being pregnant may be turning me into a Hobbit. I've always felt as though I have lot in common with those little creatures. From the soles of my leathery feet to my diminutive height, I've always felt a kinship with them.

Well, my eating habits now seem to be slowly evolving into those of a hobbit as well.

Hobbit meals:

*second breakfast
*afternoon tea

*The meals I eat.

And I've even been know to occasionally have supper after dinner!
Oh dear, by the time I'm 9 months, I will have worked my way up to all SEVEN meals!

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

There is a season.

I wanted to share this from my friend Jessica's blog:


In this life, we will have many seasons, sometimes we are in a difficult season, but sometimes we have a joyful season. Don't forget, that no matter how bad of a season you are in, this too shall pass.


Monday, September 28, 2009

Israel, oh, Israel

I'm not someone who follows news from the middle very closely, but I do keep up on it fairly regularly. Like most evangelical Christians I am an avid supporter of Israel, and I was horrified by Obama's speech to the UN and his treatment of Israel. Its really just an extension of what we have seen the past nine months since his inauguration... but still. I did not think he would be so blatant about pulling all support from them. How the hect is Rahmbo taking all of this?

Again like most Christians, I believe that one of the reasons that the United States has been so successful is that God keeps his promises, and he has said "I will bless those who bless you (Jacob/Israel), and those who curse you, I will curse." I fully believe that once we withdraw support from Israel, we are doomed. God will take care of his own, Israel will be fine, but the US will have missed an opportunity for great prosperity and possibly will have brought about its own destruction.

Anyway, there were two very compelling articles on Townhall.com today. One was by Star Parker (one of my favorite conservative writers!) on Mike Huckabee as a possible Presidential candidate for 2012. I did not realize that Huckabee's stance towards Israel was the same as my own. This makes him a bit more compelling to me, I admit that I had been leaning towards Mitt Romney, even over Bobby Jindal.

Excerpt from the article:
"Huckabee courageously stated during a recent trip to Israel opposition to creation of a Palestinian state.

He pointed out appropriate concern when 20 percent of the population of Israel is Arabs but the Palestinians demand zero Jewish presence as a pre-condition for the state they say they need."

Found here: http://townhall.com/columnists/StarParker/2009/09/28/huckabee_shows_republicans_the_way?page=1

The second was by Caroline Glick, who I don't read regularly, but this article was very good and a great summary of the Obama administrations stance towards Israel.

Excerpt from the article:
"In the meantime, in his address to the UN General Assembly on Wednesday and in his remarks at his meeting with Netanyahu and Abbas on Tuesday, Obama made clear that, in the words of former US ambassador to the UN John Bolton, he has "put Israel on the chopping block." He referred to Israeli communities located beyond the 1949 armistice lines as "illegitimate."

Moreover, Obama explained that Israel can no longer expect US support for its security if it doesn't bow to his demand that it surrender all of the land it has controlled since 1967."

Found here:

"But you, O Israel, my servant,
Jacob, whom I have chosen,
you descendants of Abraham my friend,
I took you from the ends of the earth,
from its farthest corners I called you.
I said, 'You are my servant';
I have chosen you and have not rejected you.

So do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
All who rage against you
will surely be ashamed and disgraced;
those who oppose you
will be as nothing and perish."
Isaiah 41:8-12
Some people may think I'm nuts, but I have doubted God too many times only to be proven wrong to not believe that he always keeps his promises.
If you doubt... just look at Jimmy Carter, heh heh.

Sunday, September 27, 2009


So I was perusing the news today, and I found this article:

More school: Obama would curtail summer vacation

I find this upsetting for many reasons and I see the motivation behind it. The gist of the article - Obama thinks we should lengthen school days by up to three hours and cut back on the number of vacation days.

Some quotes from Obama's education secretary, Arne Duncan:

"Young people in other countries are going to school 25, 30 percent longer than our students here. I want to just level the playing field."

"Those hours from 3 o'clock to 7 o'clock are times of high anxiety for parents. They want their children safe. Families are working one and two and three jobs now to make ends meet and to keep food on the table."

A few thoughts come to my mind:

I've been thinking that our kids need less school NOT more of it. Study after study has been showing that our kids are stresses, overworked, overextended, and FAT. They need more time to be kids.

Another thing that studies after studies have shown. Kids are actually dumber for every year spent in public schools. More on that here: http://townhall.com/columnists/WalterEWilliams/2009/06/03/dumbest_generation_getting_dumber.

We also need to streamline our curriculum and offer depth in a few core subjects, not the giant breadth of subjects currently offered. Honestly, can we make sure kids can read and do basic math before we try to shove anything else down their throat?

I already wrote extensively on Teacher's Unions and the increased Washington control over our school districts, so I won't go into that again. More on that here: http://storilayne.blogspot.com/2009/04/unions-real-public-school-menaces.html.

This is just another manifestation of Obama and his far left agenda. He knows that people would never, ever go for state run day care programs, but who could argue against more education?

Has anyone seen the online adds aimed at mothers saying, "Obama wants you to go back to school!" Because obviously stay at home mom aren't adding any value to our country! I think its horrible.

Our children need less time in government institutions, not more! I really think that Obama is looking for anyway to indoctrinate children into the belief that Government (Big Brother) is your friend. He'll be gone in a few years, but anything he can do to extend Democratic control and make it permanent, he'll attempt. If more government is good, then its a no brainer to support the party that advocates for more of it.

I think its especially horrid that they are using inner city kids to justify the expansion of public schools. The Democratic party has done everything they can to destroy inner city families and keep them as a permanent voting underclass, so now this is their solution to the problem that they created. Typical government, create a disaster through myopic legislation, then create an even worse solution to the problem! GOVERNMENT IS THE PROBLEM.

And another thing, the other day he was flapping his gums about how every kids needs to go to college. I'm sorry, but college isn't for everyone, and that's okay. I think that we need to expand the options available to kids. Some people are better with their hands and should be encouraged to look into trade schools. There are a lot of options out there, and they equally as important to a functioning society as lawyers, doctors, engineers, etc. How long would we last without garbage men? As usual, Democrats offer a one size fits all solution to an issue that is incredibly diverse. Obama is an elitist, so to him, people without college degrees are worthless. People with college degrees from the wrong schools are less capable and less intelligent than him. Obama knows best.

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Bargain Betty Strikes Again!

I am just on a roll! Nick and I bought the crib and changing table today. We hadn't planned on buying a crib for a few months, but my mom called and she had been poking around on Craigslist in Houston, and found a GREAT DEAL! The crib and changing table were solid wood and only $375. It also comes with a mattress that has only ever had a plastic covering on it.

I had been having a hard time deciding on the color... do I want white, expresso, honey??? I just couldn't decide. This is pretty neutral, but I want my nursery to be soothing, and its so cheap, I won't feel bad if I decide to paint it a fun color. I have always wanted to do that!

I do, however, plan to splurge on the glider! I want to get a really comfy one since I'll be spending so much time in it. We've decided against using a bassinett in our bedroom, so I want one that is really comfy for all of the many late night feedings.

I am so happy!

Friday, September 25, 2009

Skits I'd Like to See on SNL

Is it just me, or is the creativity in SNL writing not quite what it used to be? Or maybe they are just showing their true colors. Now granted, it isn't a news organization, so I can't expect them for them to remain unbiased, but whatever happened to being an "equal opportunity offender?"

I remember during the campaign, I was watching Mad TV, and they had a skit making fun of John McCain and Barack Obama (and Hillary Clinton) equally. It was hilarious and was also subtly positive towards all three candidates!

You can watch it here:

Lately, the only the SNL can come up with are skits mocking conservatives and Barack Obama is never mocked, he's just shown as the voice of reason or they are used to highlight him positively. Remember the "Steady as Barack" skit? I just quit watching during the campaign and their special 30 minute election shows on Thursday nights leading up to the elections, I finally just gave up. In all fairness, Ben Affleck as Keith Olbermann had me howling! But again, nothing ever negative towards Obama, and rarely negative against liberals. I think that if they are going to be so blatant in their endorsement of a candidate the time should be treated as political ad time and regulated under the McCain-Feingold act.

But anyway, I don't consider myself to be a very funny person, but there are a few ideas that I would like to send their way:

1) Barack Obama and the teleprompter
Like how hard would it be to create a skit where someone misprograms the teleprompter and Barack Obama just drones on about nonsense in his usual high handed manner without realizing it. Is it any less funny than a "Bushism?" Its a sad dependency that he uses for even the shortest speeches, and its pitiful that he can barely string two words together when he's not reading directly from it.

2) His Constant Need to create "Historical Moments" and non stop attempts to drum up free press
How about his "historical" address to school children across the US? Or how about his administration begging artists to support Obama and his agenda by creating proObama propaganda? His constant making the round of news shows? Am I the only person that seems to notice that he's so busy working the press junket and making speeches that he can't possibly have anytime for governing or reading bills? Skit.

3) How about the school children seeing songs with messianic references about Obama?
Nothing there that you can make fun of and make people laugh about while highlighting the disturbing nature of this? Nope, not that SNL can think of.

4) What about the fact that he seems to be clueless about all of his controversial connections?
When asked if he had been following the the exposure of Acorn's disgusting corruption at nearly every branch investigated, Obama's response, "I haven't been following it closely." Oh sure, they are only a group that he worked for at one time, counted as one of his major supporters and contributers, and worked tirelessly to get him elected. Or how he didn't notice that the church he attended for 20 years was lead by an America hating racist? Or he didn't know that Bill Ayers was unrepentant and admitted American terrorist? I mean the skit writes itself, Obama sits around oblivious to what's going on around him, things happen right in front of his face, and when asked about it, he's genuinely "SHOCKED"!

5) Why the hell is he so scared of FoxNews?
Yes, this is the man we wanted leading the free world, he's afraid of the only network that's not licking his boots, but surely he can lead us in war and against terrorists? Not only that, but he whines and complains about it. I don't remember Bush ever complaining about a media that was vitriolic in their hatred and contempt of him. Oh no, heaven forbid Barack Obama get asked something other than a softball question! I see a skit there...

I just can't watch it anymore, and some of these skits would be too little, too late anyway. It makes me very frustrated and very tired, especially since people seem to use it obtain real news. Like for example, in a Zogby poll, 86.9% of respondents thought that Sarah Palin said that she could see Russia from her house. Tina Fey said that, NOT Sarah Palin!

It just frustrates me, but unfortunately, I've still got at least 3 more years to go before we say goodbye Barack Obama. And who's to say that whoever we elect, be they Republican or Democrat will be any better? I will say that I miss Bush, I didn't agree with him on A LOT of stuff, but I don't agree with Barack Obama on anything. It isn't just Obama-Derangement-Syndrome either. I don't dislike him just because. I know what I stand for politically, and he and I are are at two very different ends of the spectrum. Almost everything he believes, the actions he takes, I would do the opposite or do differently.

I need to apply the "Stockdale Paradox" to Barack Obama:
1) Stay firm in your belief that you will prevail in the end.
2) Confront the brutal facts around you.

“This is a very important lesson. You must never confuse faith that you will prevail in the end — which you can never afford to lose — with the discipline to confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.” ~Admiral James Stockdale

I just want a country of freemen, the original dream of our founding fathers, and we can even do it better this time around because we have abolished the original contradiction of human enslavement. Truly there is nothing new under the sun, the progressives are just trying to sell up the same model that has been the norm for centuries in almost every other country. Wealth in the hands of a small few, being distributed by a small few, while we peons beg for their handouts without the means or ability to improve our lot in life.

Don't mean to pontificate, I'm just frustrated is all.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Lift Up Your Eyes

I want to lift up this family in prayer tonight, and ask anyone who finds this to do the same. This family the Sullivans have been married for 5 years, and while they were pregnant with their first baby, the wife Sara was diagnosed with breast cancer. A few weeks after giving birth to their daughter Chloe, Sara has several seizures that left her brain dead and she went to be with our Lord yesterday.


This has had me brokenhearted all day because I can only imagine how hard it was for her to leave her husband and baby, and for the father to be left to care for his newborn. Its so hard not to feel despair and sadness when something like this happens, and to wonder why God did not perform a miracle for his faithful this time.

I keep thinking of the line from "How He Loves" by the David Crowder Band, "We are His portion and He is our prize."

One of my favorite verses is from Psalm 84:10 -
"Better is one day in your courts
than a thousand elsewhere;
I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God
than dwell in the tents of the wicked."

God is our prize, He is our reward. You know, I sometimes wonder what my job in heaven will be. I know that I will probably never be a spiritual giant, I am too broken, too selfish, I lack self control, I lack even a modicum of grace for democratic politicians. If he who is last shall be first in the kingdom of heaven, then I will probably have a pretty menial job. But even that will be enough just for the chance to sit at his feet and worship, even just for one day.

Haha, Nick just said I can cry for 5 more minutes, but then I need to go ahead and stop :).

But anyway, right now Sara has received her prize, and once the sadness passes and the tears stop, we can rejoice.

Hey, I think there's another bible verse there, Psalm 30:5 -
"Weeping may endure for night, but joy comes with the morning."

Have a blessed night!

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Pregnancy and Random Movie Stuff


I have been so sad because I haven't been able to go to church in a few weeks. I miss it. I do ok with the pregnancy sickness during the week because I think I force myself to be functional for work, but then on the weekends, everything just let's loose! I woke up yesterday morning with the right side of my face numb, which can only mean one thing... MIGRAINE! So on top of the worst pregnancy nausea and vomiting so far, I had a migraine that carried over into this morning. Nick was very sweet and took good care of me, but also couldn't help lamenting "Why couldn't you have gotten sick when your mom was here?" :).

I was supposed to have met two girlfriends for a Saturday night church date and dinner and maybe movie last night... didn't happen. Then we were supposed to go watch the Saints game at some friends' house today... didn't happen. Oh well, I think a baby is an exchange well worth it! :)

Also, I had some phone calls of concern this week, asking if I was ok because I didn't sound so good on my blog. I am great! I am so happy over the pregnancy, but I am just not enjoying the pregnancy right now. Does that make any sense? All of my symptoms are perfectly normal according to the baby books, so I don't worry about them. They are what they are. I only have two weeks to go before I am done with my first trimester, so I am keeping my fingers crossed that after those magic 13 weeks are up, I'll have energy and won't be sick anymore. In the mean time, I cry out of happiness (and horomones) over the baby all the time. I LOVE THIS BABY!

My mom's visit was awesome. I only had to worry about getting to work, and working out in the evenings. She took care of everything else! Nick and I did not want her to go. We are currently welcoming any other guests that would like to come and cook, clean and organize for us :).

Random Movie Stuff

Last night I started feeling a little bit better, so we decided to put in a movie that I had netflixed, and I think it may be a new favorite of mine, Chariots of Fire. Everyone has heard of it and most people have seen it, but I hadn't. Its a great story of a man of faith, Eric Liddle, who ran for the glory of God and even refused to run in the 1924 Olympic games on the Sabbath. I was so happy that the moviemakers didn't play down his faith and belief in God. I also really enjoyed the story of Harold Abrahams, a scrappy Jewish man with something to prove to the entire English establishment. I highly recommend this movie to anyone!

"I believe God made me for a purpose, but he also made me fast. And when I run I feel His pleasure." ~Eric Liddle Also, I finally watch All About Eve... it was very good, but creepy, very creepy. It was not what I expected. I also finally just saw Slingblade, which was very good, but a little dark. I think during these days of my pregnancy I need to stick to lighter fair!

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Are you ready to be revved down?

These always crack me up, and in my case anyway... they are almost always so true!

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Mama's Comin'!

No, not me. This is not about the baby, as promised, but I am so excited because my mom is coming tomorrow! Its very last minute, and soooo not like her to be spontaneous, but she called me today and said that she wanted to come and visit this week. So she'll be in tomorrow, and she'll be leaving Thursday or Friday.

I'm so happy because, well call me pathetic, but being sick, tired and pregnant, with a chaotically messy house right now, and a 12+ hour workday... I've been wanting my mommy! She'll be here to help me clean and organize and cook for me... and maybe baby me a little bit :). Nick does a pretty good job, but nothing has prepared him for the pregnancy horomones. I'm not mean, but I keep crying over nothing and I've been feeling so overwhelmed lately.

So WHOOP! I can't wait until she gets here. Tomorrow cannot come fast enough! That's her on the right with my sister (middle) and my cousin Jody (left).

Friday, September 11, 2009

First Baby Things

So, I promise that not all posts will be about the baby... promise, promise, promise, but since we just started telling people, that's all people have been asking about so its all that we have been thinking about!

But I wanted to post about a few things I have for the baby. I actually cheated. I already have the bedding! I bought it when it was on clearance. My mom was in on it, and she bought a few of the accessories that you could only buy in the store, and I bought what I could online. So, I actually already have the nursery bedding, even though its really early! Don't worry though Mother-In-Law, there's still A LOT for you to help with if you want to! I love it, and even though I occasionally see something that I think I like more, every time I look at this, I love it more and more and I'm glad that I bought it when I had the chance. Its a neutral set, which works since we don't want to find out the sex ofAdd Image the baby, and its called the "Stork" set. It works pretty well, I think its funny because at least one of my blog reading friends may remember my nickname in Junior High was "Storky"... because I was Stori and I was dorky. I'm still pretty dorky!

Here it is... do you guys like it?

The second thing Nick and I bought right after we found out we were pregnant. There's a baby consignment shop in Covington that has a lot of great baby things and most of them are gently used. This vibrating chair was only $18 and is just like new! Its still available at Target, and I think its less than $30 there, but I still like saving money. It also has little owls, along with other animals, and I have been obsessed with owls lately. I definitely plan on returning to see what else I find there.

These last items my mom bought for me. She was visiting College Station this weekend, and I asked her to pick up some newborn baby Aggie gear. I would just like to say that I am soooo glad that my husband is an Aggie, and that I don't have to compromise and put the baby in Red and Black (sorry Jessica, you know I love you!) or Burnt Orange and White (sorry Adrienne, you know I love you too!). It will only be Maroon and White for this little one, and even though I'm going to try to not be "that" parent... it would break my heart if my baby didn't want to go to A&M, I'll try my best to hide it though! I love it there, its where Nick and I met and fell in love, its where my parents met and fell in love, and its one of my favorite places. I plan to bring the baby home in a A&M outfit, just like I was! So my sweet Aunt Debbie bought this little cap and socks, and I will work on an outfit later.

This last outfit is really cute one that my mom bought out of excitement! It has a stork on it, so the baby will perfectly coordinate with the nursery. :)

That's it... what do you think?

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Oh I Wannder!

Haha, getting tired of the Wann puns yet? I have quite a few more where that came from, and I mean to use them all!

Having a baby is so exciting and we are so happy, but its also a little scary. I have all of these concerns like:

What if I don't lose the baby weight? I had lost 8 pounds before I got pregnant, although I'm pretty sure that I've gained it back already :(. I hope its not too hard, I want to always be beautiful to Nick.

Is my head going to get huge during the pregnancy? I hope not, I already feel like its disproportionately large. And my chubby cheeks... even at my thinnest they are so round. What if at 9 months I'm all cheeks in my pictures?

How will the baby affect Nick and mines relationship?

Will I be able to keep my house clean and cook dinner and take care of a baby?

What if the baby has colic? What if the baby won't eat or sleep through the night?

How do you take care of a baby anyway? Will I do something permanently screw up my child?

What if my baby doesn't love Jesus and decides not to accept Christ? I don't want to give life to a child, only for them to find death. Morbid, I know, but I've always thought that the one thing I would want for my children would be for them to "love their God with all their soul, all their mind, and all their strength." My faith in the Lord did not come easily, and I had always hoped that my children wouldn't have to struggle they way I did. It would be crushing if I could not pass that legacy onto my decedents.

Haha, I just realized that if these were listed as the most important thing first, then I would seriously need to reevaluate my priorities.

Ultimately, I hope that a deeper faith and dependency on God comes from this. The best advice I ever received on raising children was from my mother-in-law, when I asked her how she raised such a wonderful son. Her advice, "I just let God raise my children." :)

"Twas grace that taught my heart to fear, and grace my fears relieved..."

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Little Wannders

Nick and I are so excited to announce that we are expecting our first baby on April 12, 2009! We feel so blessed. We went in for the first ultrasound this morning and the baby is perfectly healthy and was dancing on the screen for us!

If you look, the baby's head is on the left and you can make out its little arm buds and body. In some of the picture, you can even make out its little legs. Its like the baby is laying on its side and looking straight at you.

How I'm doing:

I am currently 9 weeks and 2 days, and I feel really great. I had some nausea, but it hasn't been as bad as other people I've heard, and the past week its been minimal so hopefully its over. Its been exciting telling everyone this past week because its made it seem more real, although it was a nice secret between Nick and I. Also, I am very glad the baby has lost its tail this week :).

What the baby is doing:

Our baby is nearly an inch long — about the size of a grape — and weighs just a fraction of an ounce. She's starting to look more and more human. Her essential body parts are accounted for, though they'll go through plenty of fine-tuning in the coming months. Other changes abound: The baby's heart finishes dividing into four chambers, and the valves start to form — as do her tiny teeth. The embryonic "tail" is completely gone. The baby's organs, muscles, and nerves are kicking into gear. The external sex organs are there but won't be distinguishable as male or female for another few weeks. Her eyes are fully formed, but her eyelids are fused shut and won't open until 27 weeks. She has tiny earlobes, and her mouth, nose, and nostrils are more distinct. The placenta is developed enough now to take over most of the critical job of producing hormones. Now that the baby's basic physiology is in place, she's poised for rapid weight gain.

Friday, August 28, 2009

Why sometimes its fun to be conservative...

I hope that I never come across as mean. I don't try to be, but definitely one of the more enjoyable parts about being conservative is reading through liberal nonsense and picking it apart piece by piece. Occasionally for fun, I go and read Huffington Post and try to post comments and inject some sense into that silly publication. Today was no exception.

Up at the top of their website, the have a WHOLE TAB devoted to Bobby Jindal containing articles to ridicule him and discredit him. LOL, it's so ridiculous. The Left and their Hate Lists, taken straight from RULE 5 of Saul Alinksky's Rules for Radicals - Ridicule is man's most potent weapon and RULE 13 - Pick the target, freeze it, personalize it and polarize it. (Hello Sarah Palin!) When I go to Townhall they don't have entire sections devoted to marginalizing Liberals. The articles for the most part are incredibly thoughtful and not given over to excessive anger or emotion, and they are usually pretty respectful. There are a few exceptions of course, but they also have a wide range of opinions from difference segments within the Republican right from the far, far right to more centrist Republicans... some seem down right liberal (ahem, I'm talking about you Kathleen Parker!).

There are a few columnists that I return to each week, I have the days they are published memorized. I was thinking about it the other day, and I realized that NOT ONE of my favorites are the stereotypical white, Christian males that are used to characterize the Republican party. Let me line them out for you:

Thomas Sowell - African American, and my most favorite conservative. I'm a groupie... I could see myself fainting and crying if they ever held a Thomas Sowell rally the way women do over Obama!

Star Parker - African American Female, she's simply amazing and understands better than any other conservative the connection between Freedom, Capitalism and Faith and the necessity for all three to be carefully preserved here in America.

Michael Medved - Jewish, there's no consistent theme in his pieces, but I enjoy them tremendously.

Charles Krauthammer - Jewish, he is astoundingly brilliant and thoughtful. Sometimes his columns go way over my head!

Ann Coulter - Female, I love Ann. Is there a funnier Conservative woman out there? Its biting humor I'll admit... I'm just so glad she's on our side! Its painful precisely because everything she says is so factual.

Michelle Malkin - Asian American Female, this woman HATES corruption and although she's a conservative, she exposes it in both parties.

I am always amazed at the diversity of the Columnists on Townhall! Its wonderful, but its also frustrating that the Left so successfully characterizes Republicans as anti-minority. Not wanting to stoop to the level of using identity politics by appealing to emotion rather than reason does NOT make us racists.

The Left for some reason though, is allowed to trot out racism against conservatives and minorities alike whenever they feel like it with impunity. They know the media won't take them to task.

Why is every Black conservative an "Uncle Tom" or a "House N*****" or an "Aunt Jemima" or a traitor to their race? Is it just me or aren't these racial slurs?

Why is Democratic Senator Dick Durbin allowed to get away with the argument that abortion is ok because its a black thing? Abortions ok because its mostly black babies we're killing, right? I mean, who cares? (I, for one, do, and feel that Dick is an appropriate name for this senator!!!)

Ever notice that all of the former Klansmen in the Senate and Congress are Democrats? Here's looking at you Bob "I filibustered the 1964 Civil Rights Act" Byrd.

Speaking of the Civil Rights Act, 80% of Republicans in the House supported it, and the Senate Republicans that supported it was even higher. Less than 60% of House Democrats supported it. And the Voting Rights Act of 1965, that obtains a whopping 82% of Republicans in the House and 94% of Senate Republicans.

Democrats consistently vote in legislation to keep minorities sucking off of the governments teat (its crass, but I don't know how else to say it). For example, they put an end to the DC school voucher program that was actually working at improving the test scores of minority children in the DC schools. Democrats killed it because how else would they be able to keep all those minority votes? The second those children obtain an decent education and start rising above their circumstances, the Democrats know that they will start voting for Republicans.

Which favorite President of the Liberals was responsible for ripping Japanese Americans from their homes and putting them in concent... I mean internment camps. Oh right, Franklin Delano Roosevelt.

Lest we forget, it was a Republican president who freed the slaves and Republicans were responsible for virtually every piece of anti-lynching legislation that was passed.

But hey, we're all racists... and how do I know this? Well Democrats keep telling us we are. They've mastered the art of making sure that they are the first ones to see it and scream loudly about it. There's no way we can ever match them in the racial rhetoric department, and I for one, don't want to. I don't want to have to use the Rules for Radicals to get my point across, and I don't want to go into hysterics and name calling the way they do. I know the Republican party isn't perfect, but the day they start beating the Democrats at their own nasty game, is the day I leave the party.

This is what I think most Republicans want for minorities:

"It is all right for [minorities] to begin building wealth in this country. It is not against the law, and it certainly is more enjoyable than poverty." Harry Alford

And the only way that can happen, is through good, old fashioned American Capitalism, not through accepting the largess handed out by the Democratic party in exchange for votes.

Anyway, I got way off target of what I started to write about, so for the fun I mentioned at the top, go through the article below and tell me what fallacies you can pick out and why this man's logic is completely flawed and absurd.


Wednesday, August 26, 2009

I'm Evil

I thought this article was interesting and a great insight into what its like being a conservative living in a blue state. Its funny but when I lived in California, the SF Bay Area no less, almost everyone I knew was extremely conservative! My friend Jessy always said that she was so jealous of me that I managed to find a group of conservative friends and coworkers so quickly, and she had lived there her whole life and it had taken her years to find conservative friends! There were only a few liberals that I met around the Stanford campus, but the majority of them were woefully ignorant and unable to thoughtfully argue their viewpoint. They just spouted catch phrases and cliches.

Living in a part of the country that is most definitely "blue" (as opposed to "red"), it's easy to begin to feel a little isolated, and certainly out of the mainstream. So it was especially fun reading Harry Stein's latest book, I Can't Believe I'm Sitting Next to a Republican. Like me, Stein lives in the northern suburbs of New York City, in what he describes as a wildly liberal enclave of hip, culturally elite suburbanites.

Stein calls himself a libertarian-conservative and he paints a vivid picture, which I can easily relate to, of what it's like to live surrounded by liberals. The book title's origin speaks volumes. Stein and his wife attended a dinner party during the most recent presidential primary season and, as Stein describes it, "the discussion turned to the glories of The Messiah." Stein had the temerity to mention Obama's lack of experience, which was apparently over the top for at least one fellow diner. "[T]he guy beside me, who'd known me all of 15 minutes, drew back his chair, cast me a savage look, and roared...'I can't believe I'm sitting next to a Republican!'"
Yes folks, welcome to Blue America.

I have always been struck by the propensity of liberals to attack conservatives. Tolerance, for liberals at least, seems to apply to everyone except conservatives. Diversity is about skin color, not diversity of thought. My views have been called repugnant, even by some near and dear to me, based purely on assumptions about what I believe. Stein writes about "how astonishingly little they [liberals] know about us."

Beyond making assumptions about what conservatives actually believe, in my experience liberals also tend to assume everyone around them is liberal, too. The beautiful, brainy daughter of close friends, a Harvard graduate now working in the northeast, echoed similar sentiments recently. "I started my job during the election," she told me, "and people made the assumption that everyone was liberal. It was perfectly fine to lambaste McCain or Palin in public." In her experience, if you're perceived as a smart, decent human being, liberals can't imagine the possibility that you might be a conservative.

What happens when people find out she is? She told me most people react with surprise, and then drop it. Much to her frustration, no one asks more about her views, or expresses any interest in them. "Liberals pride themselves on being tolerant," she told me, "but they're the most closed-minded." Stein would concur.

He describes another encounter with a liberal, a guy he knew slightly, this time in the supermarket. Stein nodded to acknowledge him, when suddenly, "he spat out: 'You people disgust me!'" All this guy actually knew about Stein was that he'd written a conservative book. "'You're disgusting," he sputtered, swiping up his shopping bag and stomping away. 'You sicken me!'" Revealing your conservative leanings can be tricky, and sometimes it's easier just to keep quiet. One of Stein's conservative acquaintances, for example, didn't want his name used in the book. "'Why get into arguments with people?'" he told Stein. "'Your kids have to go to school with their kids, and it just leads to no good.'"

A few years ago I chose not to allow my then elementary school-aged children to attend a school assembly promoting same-sex "marriage." After babysitting them and a handful of other children in the school library until the assembly was over, I ran into a couple of mothers who'd come to watch the assembly for themselves. One was a friend who knew and accepted my point of view and gave me her take on the series of skits called "Cootie Shots." The other made it clear that she was happy about the school's decision to put on the assembly. After all, she pointedly remarked, she didn't want her kids growing up to be rednecks.

Stein asked a liberal editor at a publishing house he knows for "a candid, shorthand version of the assumptions she and her colleagues make about conservatives." Without missing a beat she replied, "Racist, sexist, homophobic, anti-choice fascists....They hate everyone who's not a rich white guy."

I have long thought that one of the striking differences between liberals and conservatives is this: liberals believe conservatives are evil, while conservatives believe liberals are wrong. Stein recounts something his friend Marlene told him, which makes the point. "[S]omeone I've known for 27 or 28 years actually said to me, 'Marlene, I know you've worked with the mentally ill, so I know you care about people. But how can you be a good person and a conservative?'"

I guess this is news we can use, as the saying goes. It's important to keep in mind that the label "conservative" (or Republican) brands us, in the minds of many liberals, as just plain bad people. And while we shouldn't worry too much about how we're perceived, we should be concerned about the future of conservatism and getting its true message across. The country our children will inherit may depend on it.

For the record, I think most liberal politicians are evil. :) Most of the liberals I know personally, I actually think are wonderful people, and I have a lot of friends that I love very much. They seem to tolerate my conservatism, and don't take it too seriously. I do, however, think that they are dead wrong. I wouldn't be a conservative if I didn't care deeply about people.


Pure and Undefiled Religion

Total Pageviews